I'm Not Running Read online

  DAVID HARE

  I’m Not Running

  For Nicole, always

  Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Premiere Production

  Characters

  I’m Not Running

  Act One

  Scene One

  Scene Two

  Scene Three

  Scene Four

  Scene Five

  Scene Six

  Scene Seven

  Scene Eight

  Act Two

  Scene Nine

  Scene Ten

  Scene Eleven

  Scene Twelve

  Scene Thirteen

  Scene Fourteen

  Scene Fifteen

  Scene Sixteen

  About the Author

  Also by the Author

  Copyright

  I’m Not Running was first performed on the Lyttelton stage of the National Theatre, London, on 2 October 2018. The cast, in order of speaking, was as follows:

  Sandy Mynott Joshua McGuire

  Jack Gould Alex Hassell

  Pauline Gibson Siân Brooke

  Meredith Ikeji Amaka Okafor

  Nerena Trent Brigid Zengeni

  Blaise Gibson Liza Sadovy

  Ensemble Owen Findlay, Harry Long, Roisin Rae, Nadia Williams

  Director Neil Armfield

  Set Designer Ralph Myers

  Lighting Designer Jon Clark

  Music Alan John

  Characters

  Sandy Mynott

  Pauline Gibson

  Jack Gould

  Meredith Ikeji

  Nerena Trent

  Blaise Gibson

  The play is set in London, Newcastle, Corby and Hastings between 1996 and the present day

  I’M NOT RUNNING

  ‘Opinions lie in the street.

  Anybody can pick them up.’

  Thomas Mann

  Act One

  SCENE ONE

  2018. A bank of microphones. Sandy Mynott, thirties, a slight figure, charming, in jeans and blouson, comes out to meet the many TV crews, journalists and attendant hangers-on who are present but not seen. He stands alone, a single piece of paper in his hand.

  Sandy I’m going to make a very simple statement, it’s going to be very short, and I’m not going to take questions.

  Voice 1 Are you going to take questions?

  Sandy No, I’m not planning to take questions.

  Voice 2 Can you tell us will you be taking questions?

  Sandy No. No questions at any point.

  He looks down to the paper in his hand.

  The statement reads as follows: ‘Ms Gibson is extremely grateful for the belief and enthusiasm of so many supporters, and particularly grateful to all the women who have taken the trouble to contact her, but she wishes to make it clear that she has no intention of being a candidate.’ That’s the end of the statement. Thank you very much.

  He folds the paper and is about to turn away.

  Voice 3 Can we ask a question please?

  Sandy I’m sorry but I’ve said I’ll take no questions.

  Voice 3 When Ms Gibson says she has no intention of running can you tell us exactly what that means?

  Sandy Yes, I can. It means she has no intention of running.

  Voice 1 Since you’re now taking questions …

  Sandy I’m not taking questions.

  Voice 1 With respect, Sandy, you’ve just answered a question.

  Sandy I’m not taking another.

  Voice 1 What does it mean when Ms Gibson says she’s not running?

  Sandy I’ll try and help you with this. It means she’s not running. She’s not running.

  Voice 1 Whatever happens?

  Sandy She’s not running.

  Voice 4 Does that mean in any circumstances?

  Sandy It means what it means.

  Voice 4 In no circumstances?

  Sandy opens his arms in reply.

  Just to be clear: does that mean only in this forthcoming election, or is it any election, does it mean only in foreseeable circumstances or also if circumstances change? Put it another way: what change of circumstances would it take to make Ms Gibson consider changing her position?

  Sandy Which of those questions do you want me to take, Neil?

  Voice 4 I thought you weren’t taking questions.

  Laughter.

  Sandy I think Ms Gibson’s pretty clear about what she’s saying. What she’s saying is: she’s not running.

  Voice 5 The actual wording, if I have it right, is that she has no intention of running. But that doesn’t mean she won’t run eventually.

  Sandy I’m saying she’s not running. That’s what I’m saying. Ms Gibson is not running.

  He smiles, job done.

  Voice 6 Sandy, that statement is fine as far as it goes …

  Sandy I think it goes quite a long way, and I don’t see how it could go any further.

  Voice 2 Is there a tactical thing going on here, Sandy?

  Sandy There’s no tactical thing.

  Voice 2 Then why is Ms Gibson not saying it herself?

  Sandy She is saying it.

  Voice 2 Not in person.

  Sandy That doesn’t mean she’s not saying it. She’s still saying it.

  Voice 3 Why has she sent you to say it, Sandy?

  Sandy She’s sent me to speak on her behalf. In this instance, I’m her. Consider me to be her.

  Voice 3 Let’s spell out what we’re asking here: why is Ms Gibson not making such an important announcement herself? Is she absent because she fears questions?

  Sandy No. Because she fears misunderstandings. She felt that her absence would lend her statement authority. It would render it definitive. By making this simple, unequivocal and, in my judgement, dignified statement, she avoids precisely the ambiguity you guys seek to promote. Now I know you all have twenty-four aching hours to fill, but I’ve done my job, I’ve filled ninety seconds for you, and now you can spend ninety minutes or ninety hours or ninety days – ladies, gentlemen – as you choose, beating this thing to death with a club. But it will still mean tomorrow what it means today. She’s not running. Thank you very much.

  Sandy turns to go.

  Voice 7 Can I ask one more question?

  Sandy You can ask it but I can’t promise to answer it.

  Voice 7 Why is Ms Gibson not running?

  SCENE TWO

  1997. Student digs. The surroundings are sketched in, as throughout. Roomy, with a well-kept large bed, and some belongings around the bed. Jack Gould, twenty at this point, is tall, with a thick thatch of dark hair. He’s on the edge of the bed, speaking to Pauline Gibson, unseen in the bathroom.

  Jack Are you coming out?

  Pauline (off) Certainly not.

  Jack Why not?

  Pauline (off) Because I just had a bath.

  Jack Can I come in?

  Pauline (off) Even worse.

  Pauline appears. She is in an old dressing gown and her hair is in a towel wrapped like a turban. She is twenty.

  Does that solve the problem? What I don’t understand is that when I arrived at university, you were much the most attractive man around. After a few months with me, you’re among the least. I’m not sure what that says about me.

  Jack is not amused.

  Jack, I’m twenty years old. You want me to impersonate a person of forty.

  Jack Not in everything.

  Pauline Why would you want that? We’re going to have plenty of time to be middle-aged. We don’t have to play at being adults. Can’t we play at being young? Please?

  Jack says nothing.

  Can I go back? Can I go back to the bathroom?

  Jack doesn’t move.

  Mayb
e we should think about splitting up.

  Jack You say that so easily.

  Pauline No.

  Jack As if you wanted it.

  Pauline I don’t want it.

  Jack Then why do you suggest it?

  Pauline You know what I want. I want to go on seeing you.

  She looks at the books and papers on her desk.

  And I have to do an essay tonight. The oesophagus and what goes down it.

  Jack You’re behind with it –

  Pauline Yes.

  Jack Because you’ve been out all day.

  Pauline Yes. I made it clear from the start.

  Jack Oh yes. You made it clear.

  Pauline You didn’t think I meant it. I meant it.

  She kisses the top of his head. He gets up to go and get a beer from the fridge.

  I didn’t know you were dropping by.

  Jack And because you talk better than me, because you’re cleverer than me –

  Pauline I’m not –

  Jack No, but you express yourself better, and that means you win the arguments.

  Pauline Not always.

  Jack But winning an argument isn’t the same as being right.

  Pauline shakes her head.

  Pauline Come on, cheer up, I’ll work later. We’ll go out and have chicken livers.

  Jack Just like that?

  Pauline At that weird pub.

  Jack We’ll eat chicken livers?

  Pauline Or – I don’t know – whatever, take a mind-altering drug. Change your mood. Because this one is not good.

  Jack resumes, more insistent.

  Jack All I want to know: am I out of your thoughts –

  Pauline Oh Jack, come on, please –

  Jack Pauline –

  Pauline Jack!

  Jack I have to know!

  Pauline Why?

  Jack When you’re with other people?

  Pauline People? You mean men?

  Jack Yes.

  Pauline Obviously not. I come back to you. Here I am.

  She loses patience.

  I’m not going to change.

  Jack It’s as if the time we’re together –

  Pauline Jack –

  Jack The time we spend together counts for nothing. And that means we never progress, we never move the relationship on.

  Pauline I know. That’s what I like. That’s why I’m with you.

  Jack But I’m not happy. Because it’s always on your terms.

  Pauline Jack –

  She pauses, annoyed at having to go on.

  Jack, I told you the very first day. I know myself a little. Those were the terms. We’re students, for God’s sake.

  Jack You keep saying ‘students’ as though it’s a separate category –

  Pauline It is.

  Jack With different rules –

  Pauline There are no rules. I’d like you to be happy, I really would. And if you can’t –

  Jack If I can’t, what?

  Pauline Then I’d rather stop making you unhappy.

  The two of them face off, unwavering.

  Jack Just wait till you’re the one. Wait till you’re the one who loves more. See how you like it then.

  Pauline I don’t love less. I love differently.

  Jack drinks, sulky.

  My mother’s worse.

  Jack She’s worse? Since when?

  Pauline I may have to go down to the South Coast.

  Jack You mean, go home?

  Pauline I don’t mean visit.

  Jack What then?

  Pauline Go back for good. It’s possible. We both know: it’s always been on the cards.

  Jack That’s ridiculous.

  Pauline Why? What’s more important? My mother has someone there while she’s dying, or I have a career?

  Jack It can’t be as simple as that.

  Pauline I spoke to her earlier.

  Jack How is she?

  Pauline Desperate.

  Jack hesitates, daring to speak.

  Jack Can I say something?

  Pauline You can say anything you like.

  Jack If my father paid.

  Pauline Paid for what?

  Jack For a carer.

  Pauline Your father?

  Jack Yes.

  Pauline Why would he do that? I don’t know your father.

  Jack No, but if I asked him.

  Pauline frowns.

  Pauline Jack, perhaps I haven’t understood. You keep saying: you don’t want to be Sam Gould’s son.

  Jack I don’t.

  Pauline Well?

  Jack This is different.

  Pauline Why?

  Jack Come on, it’s completely different.

  Pauline In what way?

  Jack Because obviously I’ve never wanted his money for myself, but – hey – if I can use it to do good.

  Pauline shakes her head.

  Pauline All the time, you say: ‘I want to get away from my dad.’

  Jack And I do.

  Pauline ‘I don’t want anything to do with him. I hate him, I hate his world.’

  Jack Well?

  Pauline Take money from him and you’d be in his debt. That’s a bad place to be. And I’d be in your debt, which is worse.

  Jack The money is there. It’s there. Your mother is dying. Let me help. If you’re poor.

  Pauline We’re not poor. As Mum says, we’re not poor, we’re broke. It’s different.

  She moves away.

  Pauline Jack, I’m worried. This isn’t going to work.

  Jack Why not?

  Pauline And I’m not talking about my mother.

  Jack What are you talking about?

  Pauline Everything.

  Jack You just said you wanted to go on seeing me.

  Pauline I know. I know what I said.

  She is impatient.

  I wish we’d gone out for supper.

  Jack Were you going to dump me over the chicken livers?

  Pauline No.

  Jack Are you going to dump me now?

  Pauline I hate that expression.

  Jack is angry.

  Jack No, Pauline, what you hate is being helped. That’s what you hate. You have a fear of it. Because your life’s been so fucked-up from the beginning –

  Pauline No.

  Jack Yes.

  Pauline I should never have told you anything.

  Jack Why not? You have this fear: ‘Oh, if I let someone help me’, there’s going to be a price to be paid. Why do you fling yourself at other men?

  Pauline Is that what I do? ‘Fling myself’?

  Jack OK. Maybe not in those words –

  Pauline You sound a bit puritanical, Jack.

  Jack ‘I don’t do it to hurt you,’ that’s what you say –

  Pauline Well, I don’t.

  Jack No, you don’t. You do it because you’re terrified of being dependent.

  Pauline You mean, you’re the answer to everything, but I’m too blind to see it?

  Jack Not too blind. Too stubborn.

  Pauline considers whether to answer. Instead:

  Pauline I’m going to get dressed.

  She goes back into the bathroom and closes the door.

  Jack I’m going to get drunk. I’ve got to propose a motion –

  Pauline (off) When?

  Jack Tomorrow. At the student union.

  Pauline (off) What’s the motion?

  Jack ‘It’s better to travel hopefully than to arrive.’

  Pauline (off) Well, you know a lot about that.

  Jack Yes. I do. They love me at the union. People laugh at my jokes. And they’ve asked me to stand for the Labour Club. Did I tell you that?

  Pauline (off) No.

  Jack To be president. The family name, I guess.

  Pauline (off) Are you a member?

  Jack Yes. Are you?

  Pauline comes out of the door. She has pulled on jeans and shirt.

  Pauline You know me, Jack. I�
�m not a member of anything.

  She sits down to start pulling on socks and shoes.

  Dad was a drunk and Mum’s still drinking. She’s dying and she still drinks. She’s the only woman in the world who can manage chemo and vodka and a fag at the same time. And she’s not going to manage any of them much longer. Try visiting, see her in her bedroom, curtains drawn, but still determined to reach that bottle.

  She shrugs.

  So. I’m not a joiner.

  Jack I don’t see the connection.

  Pauline Don’t you?

  Jack No.

  Pauline Socialists are angry at the world. The Gibsons, we’re just angry at ourselves.

  Jack You’re in a bad mood, that’s all.

  Pauline Maybe.

  Jack It’ll pass.

  Pauline I don’t even know what mood I’m in. Fact is, my mum doesn’t like me very much. But it’s worse now because she’s dying and I’m going to have the life she never had. That makes her angry. And I’m angry too. The anger’s dangerous and it’s ugly because I’m stuck between believing Mum never had a chance, she married a drunk and what could she do? And thinking, ‘No, why didn’t she fight? It’s her own fault. She could have fought.’

  Jack It’s not her fault she got cancer.

  Pauline looks at him a moment.

  Pauline And is there anything worse than a daughter who judges her own mother?

  Jack You’re too hard on yourself.

  Pauline And if she dies when I’m not there, am I going to be able to say, ‘Don’t be too hard on yourself’?

  She gets up, wanting to break the mood.

  Jack Go to the Head of Department. Take a term off.

  You’ll still qualify in five years’ time.

  She looks at him, deciding to speak.

  Pauline And I’ve been meaning to say, by the way: I’m not the only angry one.