The Moderate Soprano Read online

  Bing (frowning) The trenches?

  John Good morning, gentlemen.

  All Captain. Mrs Christie.

  Audrey Gentlemen.

  John Shall we sit down?

  Ebert Thank you, I’d rather stand.

  John Well, I won’t. Audrey.

  John draws up a chair for her, and sits. The rest remain standing, prowling.

  Ebert Firstly, if it’s all right with you, Captain, I think we need to establish a means of proceeding.

  John A means?

  Ebert A method.

  John We have a method.

  Ebert This is now a group. We have to work as a group. Don’t you agree, Mrs Christie?

  Audrey I do.

  Ebert We need to find a modus operandi.

  John Why do we need to do that?

  Ebert We have to define a chain of command.

  He smiles, but John doesn’t get it.

  John Well I would have thought it was pretty clear. Isn’t it?

  Ebert Is it? You say.

  John Aren’t I in charge? Aren’t I the one who pays the bills? Put it another way. I’m building the theatre. I employ you.

  Ebert Yes.

  John I don’t see a problem.

  Ebert Yes, up to a point.

  He nods as though trying to work out a difficult problem.

  Tell us about the garden, Captain.

  John The garden?

  Ebert Yes.

  John What about it?

  Ebert How it’s run?

  Ebert waits. John sees the trap ahead, and sulks.

  John I’m not sure I want to.

  Ebert Why not?

  John Because I’m not stupid. I believe you’re going to draw some kind of ridiculous analogy.

  Ebert Ridiculous? Why is it ridiculous?

  John You know perfectly well.

  Ebert It’s you who said an opera house is just like a garden.

  John I did say that.

  Ebert You talked about the importance of respect for the gardeners. How the staff must always be treated properly. I’m just saying: in your garden, Mr Harvey’s in charge. I’ve met him. Nice man.

  John It’s different.

  Ebert Why is it different?

  John And anyway, I have preferences. I have my say. I tell him what I want. I don’t like anything pink.

  Ebert Yes, but it’s Mr Harvey, isn’t it, who actually designs the garden? He’s in charge. And why? You told me yourself. Because you trust him.

  John looks away, suddenly like a schoolboy.

  John This isn’t fair. Audrey? It’s not fair! Say something!

  He looks to her. She says nothing. He bangs the arm of the chair. She speaks quietly, tactfully.

  Audrey In fact, darling, you did draw up some plans for the garden.

  John I did.

  Audrey You remember? Projected designs. But.

  John But what?

  Audrey Tell them.

  John All right, they didn’t work out.

  Audrey No. You decided Mr Harvey knew more than you.

  John Obviously. It’s his profession.

  Audrey So?

  Everyone waits. John suddenly raises his voice.

  John You’re swine, the lot of you.

  Audrey Not really.

  John Are you in on this?

  Audrey I’m not in on anything.

  John All you want is to spoil my fun.

  Audrey Nobody wants that, Jack.

  John I’ll tell you what this is like: I’ve been given a train set, a beautiful new train set, but suddenly Mother says, ‘No, you’re not allowed to run it.’

  Ebert You run it. Truly. Financially. Artistically, no. It has to be us. We have to have power. Rudi will tell you.

  Bing smiles, smoothly taking his cue.

  Bing Opera’s interesting. Pulling everything together. All the elements. They have to come together at just the right time. From all over the place. It’s exciting. The nightly deadline. They say only journalism gives you the same adrenalin experience. Opera gives you a feeling of power. Perhaps without the evil which goes with political power. Artistic power.

  He shakes his head.

  I’m sorry, sir, but you have to grant it to those who have most experience.

  John Including repertory?

  Bing Repertory’s at the heart of power.

  Bing has said this politely. John is staring at them all.

  John Very well. I’m going to close my eyes and make a wish.

  He closes his eyes. The rest of them stand, waiting.

  All right. I want to know: if – if you lot take over, do we open with Parsifal?

  He still has his eyes closed. Ebert smiles at Busch.

  Well? Do we?

  Still no reply.

  Dammit, tell me! I can take it!

  Ebert Right now, to be honest with you, we don’t see that happening.

  John We?

  Ebert Yes.

  John You’ve discussed it without me?

  Ebert A little.

  John There was a meeting in my absence?

  Audrey I wouldn’t call it a meeting.

  John What would you call it?

  Audrey We’re all living in the same house. We can’t help running into each other. And talking. It happens.

  John Behind my back? You talk together when I’m not there?

  Ebert We don’t think Parsifal’s practical.

  John Practical? And was building an opera house in a bloody garden near Lewes practical? For God’s sake, man, if we can’t dream!

  Ebert looks down, tactful.

  Ebert We can dream. But even a dream needs a context.

  John I don’t accept that.

  Ebert You haven’t built an epic theatre. You’ve built a jewel box. In a jewel-box theatre you put jewel-box work.

  At that word, John gets up and starts nodding vigorously.

  John All right I can see where this conversation’s heading.

  Audrey Darling, I think you have to accept reality.

  John We all know. It’s heading towards Vienna. Isn’t it?

  Everyone is shamefaced.

  Well? Isn’t it?

  Busch shrugs, acquiescent.

  All right, very well. Then I’ll ask a question.

  Ebert Please. Anything you like.

  John And I want a straight answer.

  Ebert I shall try.

  John It’s Mozart, isn’t it? That’s who we’re talking about.

  Ebert It is.

  Busch To begin with.

  Ebert To open the theatre, yes.

  Busch To get us going.

  Bing The house suits him. He suits the house.

  John We’re talking about Mozart.

  Ebert waits.

  Ebert Is that your question?

  John No. And before you say I’m stupid, before you say I’m a stupid ignorant old man and that I don’t know anything –

  Ebert Please. No one would say that.

  Audrey Not in our wildest dreams.

  John But I ask on behalf of the audience.

  Ebert Ask.

  John My question is this. Mozart. Is he any good?

  The professionals look amused to each other, but John is ahead of them.

  And before you say that’s stupid, oh look, I know he’s a genius.

  Ebert He’s generally thought to be.

  Busch Our greatest genius.

  John But it’s a different matter, isn’t it? Genius. It’s a different thing. Because, frankly, Goethe’s a genius, but I’ve never read Faust, have you? I can’t get through it. And Dante’s a genius but I’ve never read – the Quartos.

  Ebert Cantos.

  John Exactly.

  Ebert That make up the Divine Comedy.

  John Nor wanted to.

  John is shaking his head.

  I know everyone says that genius sees things other people don’t. But geniuses aren’t always so bloody brilliant at seeing what other people do.
Well, are they?

  Ebert It depends.

  John They can be off-putting.

  Ebert I know what you mean.

  John What I’m saying: Mozart may be great, but is he any good? That’s my question. Because it’s by no means the same thing.

  Ebert I accept that.

  John In other words, the policy of the house – which you want to be in charge of –

  Ebert With your consent.

  John What I’m asking: is it going to be Mozart? Is it all going to be Mozart-Mozart, because personally I can take him or leave him.

  Ebert You don’t like his music?

  John It’s samey, isn’t it?

  Ebert Do you think so?

  John It’s all a bit jangly. Does he have any sense of the spiritual at all?

  Busch He does.

  John waits for further corroboration. Ebert shrugs.

  Ebert What can I say? I think he does. If that’s what’s important to you.

  John Honestly?

  Ebert Yes.

  John And dramatically, come on, let’s face it, it’s all servant girls. And intrigue. And dimples. And doors opening and shutting. That awful giggling. And big wigs. And none of it matters, does it?

  Ebert Matters?

  John Not really, does it?

  Ebert frowns, giving ground.

  Ebert The subject matter?

  John If you want to call it that. It’s not important, is it?

  Ebert It’s not self-consciously important, no.

  John Exactly.

  Ebert It’s not pretentious.

  John Who sleeps in whose bed, that sort of thing.

  Ebert Certainly that’s one of Mozart’s interests, yes.

  John It’s trivial.

  Ebert Certainly. It can be trivial. When it’s done badly.

  John It’s like playing cricket with a soft ball.

  Bing stirs, tactful.

  Bing If I may say … that’s why Mozart is such a test.

  John A test of what exactly?

  Bing He’s the easiest composer to do badly. And the hardest to do well. With respect, sir, running an opera house isn’t like running a drapery store. You don’t have to sell everything. You sell what you do best. And our team’s very good at Mozart. Normally, yes, you’re right, there’s a tradition of crudeness. Of chocolate box. But Carl’s gift is for blowing the dust off the eighteenth century. That’s what he does. That’s what he’s famous for.

  John Is he?

  Bing In Germany.

  Ebert I try to make it human.

  Bing He makes it real.

  John looks at him mistrustfully.

  Bear in mind: you’re not building a memorial, you’re building a theatre. A theatre’s a living thing, it’ll grow, it’ll change, according to what happens. The audience will change it. When they arrive. If they arrive. We don’t even know. So we need a short period of certainty, to be on firm ground just for a month or two, just to nudge us into life, and then we’ll see. We’ll see where things go. That’s the excitement, you see. You know and you don’t.

  John looks up, intrigued by this last phrase.

  Ebert What Rudi is saying –

  Bing Just the practical thing.

  Ebert He needs to book singers.

  Bing Urgently.

  Ebert Rudi’s made some tentative inquiries.

  Bing I’m calling in favours. At Darmstadt we did eighty operas a year.

  Ebert That’s a lot of singers.

  Bing Exactly.

  Ebert Rudi has files –

  Bing Stretching back many years –

  Ebert He knows where the corpses are stored.

  Bing But I can’t persuade anyone to cross the Channel unless I know what opera I’m doing.

  Audrey smiles.

  John All right. Very well. Let’s get down to it. The practical stuff.

  He looks to them. They feel they’re progressing.

  How many operas?

  Busch This year, two.

  John Why two?

  Ebert Because one is a gesture, two is a season.

  John Not both by Mozart?

  Ebert I’m afraid so.

  John The opener? Don’t say Marriage of Figaro.

  Ebert It’s The Marriage of Figaro. We thought.

  Busch If that’s all right with you.

  Bing It’s the first opera Carl ever directed.

  Ebert It is.

  Busch He does a wonderful Figaro.

  Ebert Followed next night by Così fan Tutte.

  John Well I can safely say that’s one absolutely nobody likes.

  Busch Well then, we must make them like it.

  Bing In the maestro’s hands, it’s transformed.

  Bing is deploying his charm. He holds out a piece of paper.

  I’ve drawn up a preliminary budget. Would you like to see it?

  Ebert This is what Rudi does.

  Bing I’ve tried to think of everything. From usher to tenor.

  Ebert He’s a master at it.

  John So what are you saying? That’s it and I have no choice?

  Ebert Of course not. But this a practical plan. And it’s the only one we have. It’s something that can happen. It’s a start.

  Bing is still holding out the piece of paper. John takes it. Then Audrey speaks quietly.

  Audrey Of course there is one advantage to Mozart, darling.

  John What’s that?

  Audrey Which nobody has mentioned.

  She looks at him significantly. After a moment, he gets it.

  John Oh yes, I see. I see what you’re saying. Why didn’t I think of that?

  He laughs nervously. Audrey turns to the others.

  Audrey It suits my voice.

  John Yes. Yes, you’re right. It does. Like a glove.

  There is a moment’s silence.

  Audrey You see, gentlemen, I’m not suited to heavier composers.

  Ebert Ah.

  Audrey Wagner, for instance. He doesn’t suit my range. Mozart does.

  There is a silence. Everyone knows the decisive moment has been reached. Eventually Ebert smiles.

  Ebert Then that’s something we’ll have to think about, isn’t it?

  Audrey nods slightly in reply.

  Audrey I have a question for you. Are you planning to hold auditions?

  Busch Not for the principal roles.

  Bing We imagine those will go to singers we already know.

  Ebert Indeed.

  Bing In Germany.

  Audrey Then just for the chorus?

  Ebert Probably.

  Audrey nods again, still quiet.

  Audrey Obviously it’s just that heretofore I have sung Susanna.

  Ebert Heretofore?

  Audrey Yes.

  Ebert Have you?

  Audrey Many times.

  Bing On tour?

  Audrey It’s a role I’m especially fond of. When I married I gave up singing. Publicly. To be John’s wife.

  Ebert I understand.

  Audrey But I’ve continued studying. In readiness.

  Ebert So you’d be ready?

  Audrey Yes.

  Ebert You’d be prepared? You have the role down.

  He is nodding sympathetically.

  It’s a shame your tours never brought you to Germany. What other roles do you have?

  Audrey Oh, Musetta. Gretel. Micaela. Zerlina. Lola in Cav. Nedda in Pag. I’ve done the Doll in The Tales of Hoffmann.

  Ebert I’d love to hear that.

  Audrey I’m sure that can be arranged.

  There’s a moment’s silence.

  John May I make one thing plain?

  Ebert By all means.

  John Just one thing.

  Ebert I’m listening.

  John To me this is something of a sticking point.

  Ebert Go on.

  John I may have surrendered artistic control of my own venture, I’m not quite sure how it happened, but it’s happened.


  Ebert I think it probably did.

  Bing About five minutes ago.

  John But there’s one line I’m going to draw. A line in the sand. And no one is going to cross it. There can’t be any question of my wife having to audition. It’s inappropriate.

  Ebert nods, grave.

  Ebert I think this presents us with a dilemma.

  John Does it? Why?

  Ebert If we have no experience of your wife’s accomplishment.

  John Pardon me, sir, but I have no experience of yours. Well?

  Ebert It’s true.

  John It cuts both ways, doesn’t it? Fritz here says you’re a terrific stage producer. Whatever that is. How do I know?

  His gaze is unwavering.

  I’ve heard Audrey sing. Many times. And it’s one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard in my life. I may say, I fell in love with her voice before I fell in love with her.

  Audrey Darling.

  John I think there are occasions when I have to prevail, and this is one of them. I have to get something from this.

  Ebert Of course you do.

  John Some pleasure.

  Ebert Of course.

  John It’s my house. I’m paying.

  Impasse. Nobody moves.

  Audrey Even so.

  Silence. John shifts.

  John Even so, what?

  Audrey Even so, I do understand what Carl is asking.

  John Do you? I don’t.

  Audrey These men are artists, John.

  John So?

  Audrey Fritz talked about honour, remember? You liked that.

  John Personal honour.

  Audrey Dealing with Goering. Yes. But they also have to honour their art. They have to do it in a way which has integrity. They can’t employ the chatelaine for no other reason but that she’s married to the man who owns the chateau.

  John But that’s not why they’re taking you. They’re taking you because you’re a brilliant soprano.

  Audrey Possibly.

  She smiles, unconvinced.

  But the role isn’t mine by right. It can’t be. I have to prove my suitability like any other singer. Anything else would be unethical.